Greetings!
Tragic events in life can cause searing pain and
deep grief, and each of us will experience these.
This year within a few short months, I lost both
my dearest cousin and my precious grandmother. Can we be
happy as we work through these losses and our resulting
emotions? I think not, but I do believe that our own
happiness is an inside job. Note the word
"job." It is work, and part of that work
is to be real and to feel. Unexpressed grief can
cause physical and emotional damage. I am
determined to not repress and to express appropriately
the waves of grief I experience as they come. It
has been a painful process, at times, but I know that
feeling and expressing sadness and loss are part of my
"job" of working back to my setpoint.
I think you get back to "happy" in an
authentic way by being real all along the way.
Knowing that I'm not in charge of life and life's
happenings, but I am in charge of my own reactions to
them is how I hold on during those bumpy times. When I'm
accepting of life as it is, I find I'm even more
energized to dive into my potential for creating
happiness in and around me,
everyday.
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Our staff continues to log, sort, and organize the
many many hours of footage we have shot for the film.
It's a a laborious process with great dividends because
it has helped us to crystallize the next steps we should
take to ensure the project's viability. With the
very positive feedback Lisa received at the screening of
H-Factor at
the 4th European Conference on Positive Psychology in
Croatia (SEE On The Road in this issue)
it became clear that academicians, clinicians and
college-level educators are enthusiastic about the many
applications for the film. Lisa received several
invitations to screen H-Factor at upcoming academic
conferences and in university psychology courses.
Given these openings, our effort will, for the
next few months, focus on tweaking and polishing the
30-minute film and producing several, unique 10-minute
segments well suited to the academic/conference set.
Doing this will enhance H-Factor's chances for
broad distribution and application in a variety of
settings. In 2009, we'll return our efforts to
producing and editing the feature-length documentary
with a narrative designed for broad popular appeal.
That's the plan, anyway. Stay
tuned!
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Last
June,
H-Factor H-Factor received a heartfelt
letter via our website responding to our project's
central question: What makes you
happy? Lisa was so moved by the story
that Katie Clunan shared, she wrote back, asking
permission to reprint the letter in this issue of
HAPPINESS HEADLINES. Katie granted that
permission. Here is their correspondence, a true
"Profile in Happiness."
Katie's
Letter:
Where
is my heart? This is a question I would have had a
difficult time answering two years ago, before the birth
of my son. Now, I am one of those parents who
says, 'You just can't understand until you have one of
your own.' My son was born with a rare syndrome
that causes him not to breath spontaneously during
sleep. Long story short, we spent six months in
three hospitals where he had two surgeries. He is
now at home with a trach, a vent and a g-tube.
I
don't say this to evoke pity or sorrow. Instead,
it is to say that despite all of the difficult times we
suffered through as a family, I have never been happier
in my life. In our eyes, our son is perfect!
I wouldn't wish for him to be any different.
Becoming parents has strengthened our marriage as
well. My husband and I know that God gave us
Tripp, just the way he is, for a reason. At first,
I was astonished at the irony of me having this child
that needed so much specialized medical care because my
mother, both of my sisters, my aunt and my sister-in law
are all nurses. It seemed as though I was the only
one not qualified to take care of him, so, why did God
give him to me? As time passed, I realized that
just the opposite was true. In talking to other parents
of sick children, I have realized that one's perspective
changes. There are very few things in this world
that can upset me, now. I am truly HAPPY!
Thank you for the opportunity to share our
story.
Katie Clunan,
Florida
ktclunan@gmail.com
Lisa's reply on behalf of the
H-Factor team:
Dear Katie: I want to
express my heartfelt gratitude to you for sharing your
beautiful story with us. Everyone at H-Factor was
deeply touched by you and Tripp. You embody the
essence of happiness as a choice available to anyone, at
any time, regardless of external circumstances. It
is often said that how we relate to the issue IS the
issue. You are a shining example of this! We just
wanted to acknowledge our admiration for your strength
of
heart..
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Picture this: two women, each with similar economic
resources and childhoods, both single, around 40 years
old, with no children but many friends and active social
lives. They both experienced serious auto
accidents from which they were recovering. One woman
considered the crash a terrible tragedy in her life,
proof that she was inherently unlucky and further
contributing to unhappiness in her life. The other woman
believed she was one of the luckiest women alive. Her
daily pain was a reminder of how fortunate she felt to
have survived the crash and she was confident she would
eventually recover fully from her injuries. Which
one do you think got back on her feet faster? The
main difference between optimists and pessimists is how
they explain setbacks to themselves. Born to be
blue or blissful? Is the tendency toward happiness
or unhappiness genetically determined? If our
position on the happiness/unhappiness scale is based on
our ancestral heritage, is there anything that we can do
to change it? Therein lies the rub... If
your mindset really does influence how you react to and
cope with both wonderful and tragic life events, then
knowing if you are innately an optimist or a pessimist
would certainly be a precious nugget of self-knowledge
to have. At www.optimismresearch.net
you can discover just that and contribute to
scientific research at the same time. This
internet research site, a project of Dr. Suzanne C.
Segerstrom, professor of psychology at the University of
Kentucky, offers a 49-item survey (takes about 15
minutes) that will show you just where you land on the
pessimism to optimism scale. Dr. Segerstrom has
also penned the imminently readable book, "Breaking
Murphy's Law: How Optimists Get What they Want from
Life, and Pessimists Can Too." In it, she
explores the topic of optimism with scientific
skepticism and imparts the lessons of years of research
with humor and a convincing amount of evidence that it
IS possible to break Murphy's Law through
optimistic expectations. So, even if optimism
doesn't come "naturally" to you, there are plenty of
resources around to help you learn to take a walk on the
brighter, sunnier side of life. Here are a few
more:
The How of Happiness: A Scientific
Approach to Getting the Life You Want by
Sonja Lyubomirsky Happier: Learn the Secrets to
Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most
Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard (featured
interview in H-FACTOR film) A Primer in Positive
Psychology by Christopher Peterson (featured
interview in H-FACTOR film) Just to be clear,
H-FACTOR is not pushing any side on the issue. We're not
positing that being an optimist is better. As G.B.
Stern put it, "Both optimists and pessimists contribute
to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and
the pessimist the parachute." :-)
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Our
showcase for happiness art created by young students at
the Children's Education Center at Cal Tech in Pasadena.
We welcome your artistic expression of happiness.
We'll gladly feature your H-Art print in an
upcoming issue.
Cecily
8 1/2 years
old
"Dog"
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There's quite a lot to chew here, so add this to
your happiness stew and savor it for a while.
We'll be back with the November/December issue
of HAPPINESS HEADLINES in time for the
holidays. Until then, remember, jumping for joy is
good exercise!
Lisa, Kayla, Aryel Kamen
and the staff of H-Factor...Where is Your
Heart?
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Written by Kayla on her 11th birthday, 08-21-2008:
Hi. School is starting soon but it's okay because it is
my birthday. So my positive enthusiasm is going to overpower
my negative feelings about summer ending. I'm unhappy that I
have to go to school and work, but I'm happy because I get to
see all my friends who were away during the summer. I have
missed all of them soooo
much.
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Professor
Ruut Veenhoven of
Erasmus University
Rotterdam,
Netherlands
Click the image above
for a sneak peek!
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Opatija,
Crotia
This summer proved to be a fantastic,
eye-opening experience for me, my family, and the H-Factor project when we
hit the road to Europe in time to attend the 4th European
Conference on Positive Psychology in Opatija, Croatia.
Opatija,
Crotia
In a beautiful
seaside amphitheatre, the 30-minute version of H-Factor premiered before an
enthusiastic audience of more than 500 psychologists who
specialize in positive therapy modalities, happiness and
well-being. It was a rare and special treat for our
project to be so well received by this growing community of
happiness experts and to be so warmly embraced by a country
that a decade ago had been besieged by war. I saw with new
insight how effectively the H-Factor provokes the
people who view it to consider the essence of what makes them
happy, to question others, to discuss and self-reflect which
really gets to the heart of the matter. So, I have come to
embrace a new concept of myself as a roving provocateur of
happiness, and that sits well with me.
Awaiting H-Factor Screening
Cocooning in an academic environment can be
like being shrouded in a theoretical veil. Yes, in theory this
works or that works, but how do these theories apply in real
world situations? How does this happiness thing work when you
take it to places of extreme misfortune and challenge, like a
war zone? Our travels took us to not only Croatia but to
Bosnia-Herzegovina and Montenegro. All three
countries were formerly part of the now-defunct Yugoslavia.
They have been embroiled in hundreds of years of strife. Yet,
despite the enduring ethnic conflict, which continues to this
day, the human spirit survives and thrives. While
driving in the Bosnian countryside, the ravages of war were
physically evident everywhere...bombed out buildings,
decimated landscapes, roadside warnings of landmines. Holy
cow! As a fortunate westerner, I've been kept
comfortably distant from the reality of war. I've never had to
deal with its heart-wrenching toll in my daily life, unlike
people in so many parts of the world. How does the joy that I
saw in the eyes and hearts of the people continue to exist?
Perhaps it is the constant awareness of risk and impermanence.
Do you have an insights on this? I invite you to send
your thoughts on this question to the H-Factor and we'll print
your response in the upcoming issues of HAPPINESS HEADLINES.
Croatian Cameraman Eric
Kucic
The Kamen Family at
H-Factor Screening
My son and daughter, Kayla and Aryel, are children of
privilege, indeed, so it was mind-blowing for them to be in
war-torn places where soldiers and innocents alike had died. I
was glad to be able to show them the different worlds that
co-exist on our one planet and how people often struggle for
the same things, no matter how distant the land. The young
bellmen in the hotels where we stayed were in their early
twenties now, but they were the same ages as my children when
the simmering Balkan strife boiled over into bloodshed.
They took up arms, they said, with anything they could
find, guns, kitchen knives, whatever they needed to protect
themselves, their families and their villages. These young men
mesmerized my children with their individual stories of
survival and triumph over the madness of war. It is in
these kinds of exquisite moments that I feel confident in the
positive heart and soul of H-Factor.
Upon returning to the states, my 92 year-old
grandmother passed away. Sally Insul was an actress, a free
thinker, and a maverick ahead of her time. This issue of
HAPPINESS HEADLINES is dedicated to her. She was an
integral part of my life and a major driver in the splendid
unfolding of my journey towards purpose and
happiness.
 Grandma
Sally...A Grand
Lady
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The Art of Happiness Workshops,
Offered in cities throughout the US by Dr.
Cutler, a Board Certified psychiatrist, based largely on The
Art of Happiness books and supplemented with techniques and
exercises drawn from recent developments in the science of
human happiness. The workshops help participants apply The Art
of Happiness principles and practices to their daily lives.
Seven-week course begins the week of October 26. For more
information visit: http://www.theartofhappiness.com/1-1reg.htm
The 1st Dutch Positive Psychology symposium
"2008 | The Meaning of
Life"Contemporary thought leaders from science
and business will gather to blow your mind with insight on
the meaning of life and how that affects your
happiness. November 5, Tree Center, Amsterdam, The
Netherlands For more info and registration: (link) http://www.thoughtsonhappiness.com/
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Written and edited by
Rachel Ross
H-Factor's Content Development
Specialist
& Resident Skeptic
Designed by
Dustin Zahn
Dzahn Design
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